my 3yo got a unicorn head on a pole toy, she pronounced it "your-knee-horn" and ran around the house with, next week @church choir practice she keptsays "let''s go home and play the horny game"
Years ago I got a call from my son''s kindergarten teacher and he apparently had told her to "suck his c*ck". Found out later his dad had let him watch South Park.Was so horrified!
I took my 3 year old into the bathroom stall with me at lagoon. (Keep in mind the bathroom was packed). My 3 year old yells out, "mommy your peepee is so hairy!!! I was so embarrassed to walk out of the stall!!!
my daughter is telling people that my boyfriend is in my back hole and my husband is in my front hole. I have a pair of earrings in the back hole from an old boyfriend and the pair of earrings in my front hole of my ear are from my husband
The other day I noticed my three-year-old didn''t have underwear on under his pants so I asked him why he didn''t have underwear on and he told me hedidn''t want to he was free balling. I died laughing and my husband looked at me and said that''s your fault
I took my three-year-old to go get some clothing at the children''s place. As I was checking out he was running around like a crazy person knockingthings off shelves. One of the workers brought him over to me and was so disgusted because he told her if she talked to him again he would kick her a**.I wanted to bust up laughing but she was so disgusted with my parenting that I had to explain that we don''t talk to strangers.
My son is 1/2black. He met some cousins from his dads side that had darker skin than him. For the next month everytime he would see a black kid he would loudly ask if they were a cousin.
so it''s not what my son said it''s what he does in public. When someone passes us he roars at the top of his lungs. I''m taking loud as can be. I haveto explain he thinks he''s the beast from beauty and the beast.
I took my kids to the liquor store, it was packed. They had probably been there 3 or 4 times in their lives. My son looks at me, shrugs his shoulders and loudly says, "Not this place again mom!"
6yo said I heard you screaming in bed last night. Had to explain hubs was splashing from the shower while I was brushing teeth.
I want to thank my incredible hubby. He paid for our family, as well as my brother's family to go to Disneyland for 5 days!!
My husband said he liked a certain beer one night. Next day in Walmart we are by the beer aisle and our daughter yells out "look its daddy’s juice!"(On a Sunday) oh the looks we got...
my husband and I have joking names that we call each other, just silly names, being funny. Well, mine for him is "bitch-hoe". We were in the phone store; my 2yr old son yells "daddy, daddy, bitch-hoe" because he wasn’t answering him. Yeah, no explaining that one! So embarrassing!
when my daughter was about 4 we were in a very crowded public bathroom and she asks me why me and daddy makes those sounds at night, i looked at herconfused and she begins to scream out and moan "OOOOH""YES!""oooooohhhh" I was mortified!
When my son was 3, we were walking into a store and a black lady was walking out and he points to her and said "MOM! She looks like chocolate! She looks delicious!" I was mortified but she started laughing so hard and said it was the cutest thing so luckily i didn''t have to try and explain
Massage therapist. Kid said mommy touches men for money =1==
I was going to a Chinese restaurant with my 5 yr. old and he said "did you know dad is a cock?" I was shocked, but found out when we went in he was talking about his chinese Zodiac that was on the menu.
my 4 year old answered the door to the home teachers and said "who the hell are you guys?"
my son very loudly asked at Smith's if he could get naked. I died laughing cuz this old lady look horrified when I said yes! He meant the drink.
my boss threw ME a baby shower!!! My daughter said in front ofeveryone. "Your teeth are yellow and dirty" she was a smoker and coffee drinker. She said kids say funniest things. =,
we were at my daughter's dentist. She was 4, meet a girl with cancer that had stitches. My daughter days "snitches get stitches, what did your snitch on?"
we were at DisneyWorld surrounded by heavier people and my 9 yr old yelled "mom everyone here has cankles"
my daughter says the same thing Frankie! "No push me dadda" I'll have just walked past her and she got brushed by my shirt or something
as a child my dad used to pinch my butt and say "dig butt!" When I was about 3, we were in line at the grocery store, and I grabbed the old lady''s butt in front of me and said "dig butt!" How do you even begin to explain...
I''ve been s kindergarten assistant for 5 years now & my youngest is in my class this year. He raised his hand to tell the teacher "sometimes my dad spanks my mom"...I was mortified!
walking through Target main area with my boys when my 6yo runs past my 9yo and gives him "good game". My 9yo says loudly "don''t touch me there!" The6yo darted into an aisle and I''m left standing there by myself! All surrounding adults starring at me!
We''ve adopted through Foster care, it''s Always hard when the kids start talking about things that their bio parents had done for example, "my mom took drugs" and were scrambling to explain that no no they''re not talking about us.
my 4 yr old had a dance recidal a few days later we go to utla and she is screaming I DONT WANT TO WEAR MAKEUP she only wore it during her dance
laying on the floor with newborn infant 4 year old went to jump over me and would have landed on the infant. Pushed her so she wouldn''t. Landed wrongand broke her arm. Told everybody daddy broke my arm
my youngest said I smoke leaves I had to explain it was a licorice flavored native American tobacco free cigarette
my 2 and a half year always says momma fixed but it comes out as "momma bitch" so we always have to clarify because it's her favorite phrase
My four-year-old recently told his teachers at church that we say the F word at home all the time, but at home the F word is fart and the teachersdon''t know that
In line for Space Mountain at Disney World, my 5 year old tells a dad and son next to us "We don''t touch my dads pee pee." We had been talking aboutbody autonomy and respecting other people''s bodies recently, so she felt the need to pass on her knowledge to the other boy in line. My poor husband wanted to crawl in a hole.
toddler dad was eating peanuts while being pushed in a shopping cart. Grandma tried to eat 1. Cue toddler "DON'T TOUCH MY PENIS!"
my 4yrold likes to be naughty at the stores so when I give him the "mom stare" he yells outDONT HIT ME MOMMY
One time my husband pants me in front of our daughter and she told my mom "in my house, when you love someone, you pull their pants down". My mom called me
years ago when my boy was around 4 or 5 he was in the shopping cart at Walmart and yelled out I''m ugly and I''m proud, which is from an episode of Spongebob but I''m sure everyone thought we had told him that he was ugly but to be okay with it haha
my 4 year old told the daycare that her Mom "has lots of weed" referring to the dandelions that I was complaining about in our lawn
My son just went to Monster truck and fell in love with Grave Digger. So he has a grave digger truck and calls it "Grave Digger my Ligger." Sounds toclose to something else so he can''t take it outside the house to play with
kindergarten show and tell and the kids are to tell what their parents do: my son proudly says "My mom pulls babies out of vaginas!"
this summer my 2 year old boy I said to my brother-in-law he wanted to play with chalk but when he said it it sounded like he wanted to play with COK
Shopping w/ my sister and nephew. At a crowded store. My hubby was playing a word guessing game with my nephew. Nephew said, "guess this word! Sp. Sp. Sp." My hubs, "I don''t know bud." Nephew really loud, "SPERM!" Sister turned beet red. And said, "yes bud the sperm whale is your fav!" Haha like a good aunt I laughed my A off.