Message written by Genna Thomsen for other parents and teens out there
I am sharing brutal news via e-mail. Please forgive me up for that. There is not time and space right now for me to talk to everyone who I know cares, for that I am sorry. I also can’t say the words over and over as what happened still doesn’t seem real.My youngest son Joey committed suicide tonight (Sunday night really as its Monday now). I will tell you the details I have as I don’t like it when people don’t give the facts that just make you wonder. He shot himself in the chest at the end of Bates Canyon Road which is East of Stansbury High School around 9:30 pm. He text me at 9:19 saying I love you. I thought it was the start to him wanting a ride home or a late night McDonald’s run…
There are a thousand questions that I don’t think we will ever have an answer too as he is gone and never coming back. He didn’t let on he was hurting in anyway. He didn’t tell us he was sad or mad. He was getting signed up for private drivers Ed tomorrow. We booked him a ticket to NY this weekend for his 16th birthday next month to go spend a long weekend with Carlie (his big sister) when she will be there. He has a car waiting for him, a debit card with funds on it. He has great friends, straight A’s, parents and family who love him dearly. He is healthy, didn’t eat too much sugar because it made him break out. He by all accounts had a good life and still he made a choice to end it. I can’t get my heart or head around that. Maybe I never will.
He had a fun day at home with Carlie and I. He whitened his teeth, he mowed the lawn, played with cats and Carlie’s dog. He asked me for a new razor. He did a silly thing putting his arms and legs into a sweatshirt walking around on the ground. He left around eight saying he was going to his friends and never came back.
He left notes for us and his friends. His note to my husband and I were his funeral plan desires. He wants to be cremated and he told us what song to play at his funeral and what quote he wanted on his program. He put $200 that he just made pet sitting for a neighbor in our letter saying he wanted orchids and he knew they were expensive and out of season. Who does that?
I don’t want orchids, I want my son…
It doesn’t make sense, none of it makes any sense. I can’t make it all make sense. Please hug your babies one extra time for me, for all the parents who know the loss of a child. My big wish is for ALL of us to express ourselves, to get the sad, the mad, the hurt, the loneliness on the outside. Joey is a raw, real, excruciating example that holding things in can only cause more pain. He made a choice that I can’t undo with all the love of a mother’s heart. What ever lead him to pull that trigger was hidden under a tall handsome, kind, funny, bright mind and generous young man. His smile could melt your heart, one of his hugs could melt your soul.He didn’t give us the chance to help, he didn’t show anyone his pain. That I will have to find a way to live with.
He didn’t give us the chance to help, he didn’t show anyone his pain. That I will have to find a way to live with. We have to wait for the official investigation and Medical Examiners report before they will release him to us so we can plan a funeral. Please share with other friends I don’t have listed here.
Please pray for us all. This is so brutal and I am stilling wanting to pretend its just a really bad dream…Talk, laugh, cry, yell. Just get things out the outside so they do not destroy you from the inside.