as a step parent we sat down and decided rules and punishments. Then my spouse was the primary person but do to work schedules I had to at times be at times

be more of the kids friend instead of trying to become their dad

advice and talk to each other but let the actual parent make the final decision and do the speaking. They know their own child best.

Take a step parenting course with your significant other. Helped us tremendously

 No matter what, stay united with your spouse. Kids are experts at dividing and conquering, and have no problem with destroying your marriage

don't talk down EVER about the child's biological parent in front of them. Especially in an argument.

my Kids have a wonderful step dad. While I do much of the disciplining, he stands right next to me while it happens so they know we are a united front

according to therapist the step dad should take more of an uncle role be a friend but ensure the kids are respecting him